What I Wish I Knew Before Transitioning: Real Talk from Lived Experience

Transitioning is deeply personal, profoundly complex, and often misunderstood. Whether you're just starting to explore your identity or well into your journey, there’s no universal roadmap — and that's both beautiful and frustrating.

As someone who has undergone 12+ gender-affirming procedures and spent countless hours in waiting rooms, recovery beds, and consultations, I want to share what I wish someone had told me earlier.

This isn’t medical advice — it’s lived experience, grounded in reality, compassion, and community.

1. Doctors Can Explain Procedures — But They Can’t Prepare You Emotionally

Surgeons are trained to discuss the risks, benefits, and logistics. But what they don’t always talk about is the psychological shift, the waiting period panic, or the moment you look in the mirror and feel everything (or nothing).

You are not broken for having mixed feelings after surgery. It’s okay to grieve the body you had, even as you welcome the one that affirms you. And it's okay to need time — a lot of it — to fully land in yourself.

🧠 According to a 2022 study in JAMA Surgery, more than 90% of people who underwent gender-affirming surgery reported improved body image and reduced gender dysphoria, but emotional outcomes varied widely depending on support systems in place.

2. Gatekeeping is Real — Know Your Rights

The process of accessing gender-affirming care can feel dehumanizing at times. Letters of recommendation, waiting periods, psych evaluations — it's exhausting. You are not imagining it.

In Canada and the U.S., you have a right to informed consent care in many provinces/states, which allows you to pursue HRT and some procedures without extensive psychological screening, assuming you’re well-informed of the risks. Look into local informed consent clinics, and never hesitate to advocate for yourself or ask for second opinions.

Resource: Trans Care BC offers excellent overviews of the pathways to care in British Columbia, many of which are applicable or adaptable elsewhere.

3. Not Every Surgeon Will Be a Fit — Interview Them, Too!

You’re allowed to ask your surgeon hard questions. You’re allowed to get a second (or fifth) opinion. Surgical outcomes and bedside manner both matter.

Things to ask:

• What is your revision policy?

• What is the average healing timeline for patients like me?

• How many procedures of this type have you performed?

• Can I speak with a former patient?

Tip: Create a “surgery spreadsheet” with details of each consult — cost, approach, vibe, and outcomes. It makes decision-making far less overwhelming. (Download my free one here)

4. Transition Doesn’t Have a Finish Line

Transition is not linear. And it’s not a checklist. Surgery, hormones, name changes — these are tools, not requirements.

You don’t have to "look trans enough" to access care. You don’t have to pursue every possible procedure to be valid. You don’t owe anyone a timeline, justification, or disclosure.

💬 “You are not late. You are not behind. You are right on time for your own journey.”

5. You’ll Need More Support Than You Think — And That’s Okay

One of the most overlooked parts of transition is the sheer amount of emotional labor it takes — not just physically healing, but explaining, advocating, educating, and navigating.

Build a support circle. That might mean a therapist, a support group, a trusted friend, or a dedicated consultation space where you can unpack it all without judgment.

📊 According to The Trevor Project's 2023 survey, 56% of trans and nonbinary youth seriously considered suicide in the past year. Supportive environments are statistically proven to lower risk.

If any part of this resonated with you — the uncertainty, the overwhelm, the desire for real, grounded insight — you don’t have to navigate it alone. Whether you're full of questions or just need to talk it through with someone who's been there, I'm here to support you.

You can book a one-on-one session when you’re ready to dive deeper, or start with a free 15-minute meet & greet to see if this space feels right for you. No pressure. No expectations. Just real support, when you need it.

Additional Resources Worth Bookmarking:

• 🌐 Trans Lifeline – Peer support and crisis line for trans people

• 🧑‍⚕️ WPATH Standards of Care – Global clinical guidelines

• 💬 Book a Consultation with Christina – Firsthand support from someone who’s been there